I am posting this as to help any brother or sister contemplating marriage and who want to follow a true Islamic Wedding, not one of culture and family traditions.
by Moulana M. Saleem Dhorat
Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Out of all the children, he was the most beloved to him. He said, 'The Queen of the ladies in Jannat is Faatimah.' He also said, 'Faatimah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me.'
When Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) remained irresponsive.
Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu), who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, 'How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing.' At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry Faatima (Radhiyallaahu Anha). The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) was extremely pleased and asked, 'Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in Mahr?' I replied, 'Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing.'
The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, 'A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour.'
So, Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) went and sold his armour to Uthmaan (Radhiallaahu Anhu) for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Bilaal (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was ordered by the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas (Radhiallaahu Anhu) was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthmaan, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ansaar (Radhiallaahu Anhum).
When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) recited the Khutbah (sermon) of Nikaah and gave Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) in marriage to Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu). He announced, 'Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter Faatimah in marriage to Ali for 400 Mithqaal of silver and Ali has accepted.' He then raised his head and made Dua saying, 'O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children.' after the Nikaah, dates were distributed.
When the time came for Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) to go to Ali's (Radhiallaahu Anhu) house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied Umm Ayman (Radhiallaahu Anhu). After the Aaisha Salaat, the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) and Faatimah (Radhiallaahu Anha) and made Dua for them.
The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.
In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of the worlds was solemnised. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.
SOME METHODS DERIVED FROM THE ABOVEMENTIONED MARRIAGE
- The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
- To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
- There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
- It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
- If the father of the girl is an Aalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
- It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
- It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
- It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)?
- The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariah.
- There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.
- Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
- It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.
- The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariah.
- For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'anic law of Hijaab.
- It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
- Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
- Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);
- To give necessary items;
- A show should not be made of whatever is given.
- It is Sunnat for the bridegroom's family to make Walimah.
Note: In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islamic and frowned upon.
Some examples are:
- Displaying the bride on stage;
- Inviting guests for the wedding from far off places;
- Receiving guests in the hall;
- The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Shariah. We should remember that Walimah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated.
- It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not give Ali (Radhiallaahu Anhu) anything except Dua.
Islamic Dawa Academy, England